What the research gives us
Decades of observational study identified the patterns that reliably predict distress: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. Naming these in your own conversations turns a vague sense of 'we keep fighting' into something specific enough to change.
How it shows up in session
Sessions begin with an assessment of friendship, conflict, and shared meaning. From there the work is concrete: softened start-ups, repair attempts mid-conflict, and structured conversations about the dreams underneath gridlocked issues.
What you practice at home
Every couple leaves with something to run between sessions — a weekly state-of-the-union conversation, a specific repair phrase, a ritual of connection that survives two demanding careers.