/ weekly 1.0 /__l5e/assets-v1/c070a0a2-9766-4e38-86bb-1ad2a08a33cb/dr-steele.jpg Dr. Steven S. Steele, ThriveNow Counseling Dr. Steven S. Steele, licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Altos, California. /services monthly 0.9 /services/couples-counseling monthly 0.8 /services/affair-recovery monthly 0.8 /services/individual-counseling monthly 0.8 /services/counseling-for-professionals monthly 0.8 /services/premarital-counseling monthly 0.8 /services/family-counseling monthly 0.8 /about monthly 0.7 /__l5e/assets-v1/c070a0a2-9766-4e38-86bb-1ad2a08a33cb/dr-steele.jpg Dr. Steven S. Steele, ThriveNow Counseling Dr. Steven S. Steele, licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Altos, California. /approach monthly 0.8 /approach/gottman-method monthly 0.7 /approach/relational-life-therapy monthly 0.7 /approach/pastoral-and-meaning-centered-care monthly 0.7 /approach/what-to-expect monthly 0.7 /contact monthly 0.7 /blog weekly 0.7 /blog/affair-recovery-the-first-90-days yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/63e95e65-8b05-4b48-a647-ad04c1c3518a/affair-recovery-the-first-90-days.jpg Affair Recovery: The First 90 Days When an affair is brought into the light, the world you knew collapses. The ninety days that follow are not a quiet period of simple decision-making; they are a /blog/beyond-survival-rebuilding-the-self yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/d0f47af2-102d-4eae-b368-28f3a8c825b4/beyond-survival-rebuilding-the-self.jpg Beyond Survival: Rebuilding the Self When Your Shared Reality Collapses If the first ninety days after discovering an affair are about catching your breath, the months that follow are about deciding what kind of home you will build /blog/the-heavy-mirror-recovery-for-the-partner-who-betrayed yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/fac7ac0f-572d-4a88-bd32-71cc054496e3/the-heavy-mirror-recovery-for-the-partner-who-betrayed.jpg The Heavy Mirror: Recovery for the Partner Who Betrayed When an affair is brought to light, society immediately, and understandably rallies around the betrayed partner. But for the partner who stepped outside the rel /blog/how-to-forgive-the-art-of-letting-go yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/542a2708-a94a-4bf5-83db-3f7f5531d590/how-to-forgive-the-art-of-letting-go.jpg How to Forgive: The Art of Letting Go When someone breaks our trust, our baseline human instinct rarely leans toward grace. We default to ancient math: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.[1] Ret /blog/the-loneliest-prison-how-to-forgive-yourself yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/905f0de2-6b41-4353-b4e2-ad6af7fd7ede/the-loneliest-prison-how-to-forgive-yourself.jpg The Loneliest Prison: How to Forgive Yourself In our last piece, we explored how forgiving others liberates us from holding on to past hurts. Yet for many of us, forgiving someone who wronged us is actually /blog/rebuilding-the-bridge-how-to-reconcile yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/710ac5d1-91ea-436d-8d98-a8dec92cc42f/rebuilding-the-bridge-how-to-reconcile.jpg Rebuilding the Bridge: How to Reconcile While Safeguarding Emotional Safety In the previous discussions on forgiveness, we explored how forgiveness operates as an internal release, a solitary act of freeing ourselves from the weight of /blog/the-four-horsemen-at-your-kitchen-table yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/011dfb9f-37b2-4033-b092-16dbbe19b83f/the-four-horsemen-at-your-kitchen-table.jpg The Four Horsemen at Your Kitchen Table It usually starts with something small: an unwashed bowl, a forgotten errand, or a offhand comment about who had a busier week. Before you know it, what should /blog/trapped-in-the-loop-the-more-the-more-dynamic yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/906842fc-c085-46ca-b35a-8f887975ae12/trapped-in-the-loop-the-more-the-more-dynamic.jpg Trapped in the Loop: Terry Real’s “The More… The More” Dynamic In part one of our series, we looked at John Gottman’s Four Horsemen, the specific behaviors that erode relationships. But when you’re in the heat of a moment, /blog/dancing-with-the-enemy-demon-dialogues yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/c18658d6-f14b-4c5a-8eae-5ca1c99381c8/dancing-with-the-enemy-demon-dialogues.jpg Dancing with the Enemy: “Demon Dialogues” In part one, we looked at the specific habits that destroy relationships (Gottman’s Four Horsemen). In part two, we unmasked the circular feedback loops that tr /blog/how-to-apologize-to-the-people-who-matter-most yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/e2b72f2f-0f01-4c8e-90df-dd350a3841bd/how-to-apologize-to-the-people-who-matter-most.jpg Beyond "I'm Sorry": How to Apologize to the People Who Matter Most We say "I'm sorry" dozens of times a week—for bumping into someone at the grocery store or holding up an elevator. But when it comes to our romantic partners, s /blog/the-hard-beautiful-work-of-stitching-what-we-tear yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/b2d70db8-ebde-44e5-b735-9de2e1e0fea9/the-hard-beautiful-work-of-stitching-what-we-tear.jpg The Hard, Beautiful Work of Stitching What We Tear We are, all of us, clumsy weavers. In the daily choreography of living together, with spouses, children, friends, and colleagues, we drop threads. We snip conne /blog/the-four-marriages-inside-every-marriage yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/8bc491ea-eb44-4918-a3f2-e2241d3cbda3/the-four-marriages-inside-every-marriage.jpg The Four Marriages Inside Every Marriage I remember sitting in class on my very first day of graduate school, pen poised in hand, ready to absorb every drop of wisdom. Our school had just landed a prem /blog/the-same-fight-on-repeat-why-the-issue-is-rarely-the-issue yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/58407a7b-99cf-4739-a79d-a4059b8bcdc1/the-same-fight-on-repeat-why-the-issue-is-rarely-the-issue.jpg The Same Fight on Repeat: Why "The Issue" is Rarely the Issue It was a few minutes before the processional. Cap and gown adjusted, the crowd buzzing with anticipation, and eight long years of rigorous research, late-night /blog/the-science-of-synergy-work-life-and-relationship-balance yearly 0.6 /__l5e/assets-v1/e65a85a2-0e38-4555-8cc4-584fe689af97/the-science-of-synergy-work-life-and-relationship-balance.jpg The Science of Synergy: Applying World-Class Leadership Principles to Work-Life and Relationship Balance For decades, we’ve treated work, personal well-being, and romantic relationships as competing forces in a zero-sum game. The assumption? Every hour spent at you